Managing Difficult Conversations

     As a piece of our pre-work for Kyle and Erin's presentation on managing difficult conversations tomorrow, we were assigned to watch a video by Fred Kofman, a professor of leadership at UFM (link below). Everyone has to face difficult conversations at one point or another, especially as a manager. In this video, Kofman discusses methods in order to successfully work through difficult conversations.
     Kofman explains how often in difficult conversations of disagreement there is push back from both sides. However the goal should be to yield to the other person in order to let them show you what they think and why. He turned it into an analogy of a dance where each person gives and takes in order to understand the other. He outlines three steps of conquering difficult conversations: feel good, relate to each other, and achieve shared goals. This also can be thought of as I, we, and it, meaning I feel good, we relate to each other, and it is our shared goal. Furthermore, three critical pieces of good conversation are contact, context, and content. While you cannot control the outcome, you can control the process. Kofman provides us with a series of tools in order to better conduct difficult conversations:

1. LISTEN: Pay attention and don't interrupt.

2. ASK QUESTIONS: What do you think? Why do you think what you think? What would you like given that you think that?

3. SUMMARIZE: Did I get what you wanted me to understand?

4. VALIDATE: Acknowledge that what they said is reasonable.

5. EXPRESS YOURSELF: Use "I" to express what you think and how you feel.

6. NEGOTIATE: Solve the problem together.

7. COMMIT: What are you going to do next?

8. PROCESS CHECK: How did it go? What can be improved next time?

     Kofman shared a lot of useful information for working through difficult conversations. I'm looking forward to learning more from Kyle and Erin's presentation tomorrow!

https://leanin.org/education/managing-difficult-conversations/